


𝔾𝕠𝕠𝕕𝕟𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕜𝕚𝕤𝕤

by hwashinestar



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Eventual Smut, Gay, He's not good at making new friends, He's very good at kissing though, Hints of past relationships I guess, I'll do my best to update this regularly, Insomnia, M/M, Seonghwa's WooJoongSang's new flatmate, Wooyoung has, Wooyoung's actually an innocent bub??, be warned, they kiss a lot, very gay tbh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2020-10-17 10:36:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20619635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hwashinestar/pseuds/hwashinestar
Summary: "Can't sleep?"In which goodnight kisses become a habit after Seonghwa sweetly touched Wooyoung's lips with his and wished him a good night of sleep.◘"Okay, Wooyoung, what is it?" Closing the door behind them, Seonghwa crossed his arms in front of his body, staring down at a seemingly agitated Wooyoung."I want a real kiss this time, Seonghwa, please." The boy couldn't bear to look the other in the eyes, so he settled on looking down."Can you wait until we go to sleep?""Honestly?" Wooyoung stared up, stepping closer to his friend. "No, I cannot."





	1. ℍ𝕠𝕨 𝕚𝕥 𝕒𝕝𝕝 𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕥𝕖𝕕

**Author's Note:**

> ■ I won't use hyung/similar words in here, just to your knowledge 
> 
> ■ I hope you'll enjoy it

Wooyoung couldn't really understand how it all started — how his body started to hurt, how his lungs seemed to want more air than they could possibly handle, how his hands were sweating, how his head was aching —, all he knew was that, if he didn't stand up, he'd scream out of frustration and would end up waking Yeosang up, and every single person inside that dorm knew that doing that's never a good idea. Unfortunately, though, being alone, outside of his room, only with the necessary lights on — although, for him, all the lights would be necessary —, didn't seem like a tempting idea, at all. A few more shifting in his bed and his ears wouldn't have heard the low thump coming from outside his room; he'd get scared, yes, of course, but he could recognize that sound from afar: Seonghwa and Hongjoong's door opening — now, as weird as that might sound, he was only aware of the fact because that room had a broken door that would make a weird noise whenever it would get closed —, and that could only mean that he wouldn't be alone anymore. Slowly, holding his breath basically whilst doing every move, the boy managed to quietly get to the door, open it, and step out of his room.

In all honesty, Seoghwa wasn't fully awake when he got up from his bed, but his dry throat urged him to do something to fix its problem, and, so, he did. The boy stood up, not particularly caring if he would wake up his roommate or not — after all, they had known each other for what, six weeks or so?! And Seonghwa was never one to be really considerative of others —, and walked out of his room, cursing under his breath the door for being broken. He made his way to the kitchen, thanking the moonlight coming from the balcony for shining over the shelves in the wall, helping him find a cup. Slowly, he drank down the cold water — his throat screaming at him at first, but, then, calming down —, being careful enough not to choke on it even when he heard someone calling him by his name.

As he put the — now empty — glass down on the counter, Seoghwa bit his inner cheeks, smiling at the boy standing in front of him even though he wasn't sure if Wooyoung was looking at his face or at his _How to Train Your Dragon_ pajama's t-shirt.

"Hey." The oldest said calmly, supporting his weight with his hands behind his body and leaning against the sink. "What's up?"

Wooyoung stepped closer to the counter, placing his elbows on the surface and his chin on his hands.

"Oh, nothing much, don't mind me, just-"

"Can't sleep?" He interrupted the other, smiling — a bit sweeter than previously — at how he saw the other relax his body a bit whilst nodding. "Yeah, me neither." _Liar_, Seonghwa mentally called himself, a blush spreading through his cheeks, his eyebrows furrowing, once he couldn't answer his own question as to why on Earth did he even say that. He was thankful the lights weren't on.

"Well, hm, what do you do when you normally can't sleep?" The youngest asked, his teeth busy trying to bite away the dry skin of his bottom lip.

"I text my friends, but my phone's still not working, so..." He rolled his eyes.

"Right, your phone... Weren't you going to take it to get fixed today- yesterday morning?"

"Yes, but all of you were busy to tell me where I was supposed to go to, and I obviously couldn't search it."

"Your laptop?" Seonghwa fell silent at the other's words. "Forgot about that?" And the boy chuckled once he saw the other nodding and whispering yes. "Well, tomorrow, Joong and Yeosang have some books to buy, so maybe I could take you to where you wanna go? I mean, I do get lost quite easily and there's a chance we'll take 2 hours to get to the place, whilst, if you were to go with those two, you'd take twenty minutes, however, I do know how to get there." Wooyoung smiled. "Unless you're willing to wait a bit more to get your phone fixed, then I guess you could talk to Ho-"

"We'll go tomorrow, you'll take me." He interrupted the other boy, shaking his own head quickly once he remembered he wasn't talking to one of his best friends, he should, at least, try to be nicer. "I mean... Sorry, I just-"

"It's alright, Hwa." Wooyoung chuckled once more, and Seonghwa let out a weak _Hwa? _under his breath, hoping the other didn't hear him; he did not. "We'll go after lunch if that's okay with you...?"

"Sure, sure, sounds good." Awkwardly, the boy laughed, stepping away from the sink. "I think I feel good to go and try to sleep now, thanks!" And, as he was walking away, once he noticed Wooyoung wasn't following his steps, he turned around, a hand scratching his nape, embarrassedly. "Sorry, I forgot to ask about you, I-I don't... really know how to do this new friend thing, I'm sorry." To say Wooyoung was smiling would be an understatement; his eyes lightened up, his cheeks burned, and his smile reached his ears. He simply hummed and shook his head, as if saying hey, don't worry, not a problem, as he waited for the other to say something else. "What do you do when you can't sleep?"

"Well..." Wooyoung pouted, memories rushing through his mind without the afore given permission. "When I was a child, my mom used to kiss me goodnight. As I grew up it became an odd habit and my dad demanded her to stop doing it. She was an angel, you know? Sent from God to help me, and my father just... cut her wings or some other stupid metaphor." Wooyoung looked down at the counter before continuing. "Ever since it stopped, I've just... been taking pills for insomnia, pills that I haven't taken in a couple of days, to be honest, I just-"

Before Wooyoung could even finish his sentence, he felt his chin get lifted, his eyes landing on shiny eyes filled with stars. A pair of cold lips pressed against his chapped, warm ones, and, as he closed his eyes, thinking of reciprocating... whatever that was, Seonghwa pulled away, a simple smile on his lips as he muttered a soft _goodnight, Wooyoung._ Maybe, just maybe, Wooyoung suddenly felt sleepy.


	2. 𝕃𝕠𝕤𝕥

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> °∴,*⋅✲══〖✰〗══✲⋅*,∴°
> 
> 𝕀𝕄ℙ𝕆ℝ𝕋𝔸ℕ𝕋:
> 
> The boys were ALL born in 1999, meaning their age order is, from the oldest to the youngest:
> 
> Yunho ■ Seonghwa ■ Yeosang ■ San ■ Mingi ■ Jongho ■ Hongjoong ■ Wooyoung

"Okay, Wooyoung, are you sure you know where we're going?" Seonghwa held his jacket and took it off, throwing it over his shoulder and speeding up his steps, trying to catch up with the other boy.

Everyone that looked at their direction could clearly notice how lost they were, and Seonghwa was just so_ fucking _sure they had already walked past those same stores minutes ago.

"Yes, yes, I am, I just- I told you it would take us forever, Hwa."

"It's been taking us..." he looked down at his watch. "basically one hour."

"I told you to go with Yeosang and Hongjoong." Wooyoung turned around abruptly, the other almost bumping on him. "But you didn't wanna wait for them to buy whatever shit they had to, so please don't take it out on me, I'm trying hard here!" He whined, turning his back to his housemate and resuming to walking again.

"Wooyoung, wait." Seonghwa latched his hands on the boy's shoulders, holding him back and turning him around; the thin tears making his eyes shine brighter than usual startled the oldest a bit, and he held back his words, analyzing the other's face to make sure he wouldn't break down. "Breathe, okay? We're okay, we'll find it." He felt Wooyoung shivering under his hands. "Why don't we ask someone, hm? How does that sound?"

"It sounds good, I guess." As he quickly blinked the unwanted tears, Wooyoung looked around, walking away from Seonghwa's grip and entering a clothing store. His steps slowed down once he took in the number of people walking and talking inside the place, and he heavily sighed, his hands shaking, making his way to the closest employee.

Seonghwa had yet to go buy new clothes — he hadn't had much time or will to actually go out since he moved in —, so he enjoyed his time inside the store as Wooyoung talked to that lady — at whom he rolled his eyes once he noticed how obvious she was making her will to get into the boy's pants be. It was taking too long, and Seonghwa, although not knowing the other boy for long, could clearly see he had become rather uncomfortable; for instance, the lady herself had probably noticed the same due to Wooyoung retracting himself and stepping back a bit, hands grabbing his own arms, bottom lip between his teeth — he looked even tinier like that. Not properly thinking, the oldest stepped closer to the two people talking — also understood as: a nineteen-year-old whose expression showed a tad of fear, and a woman with at least double his age and way too much saliva on the tongue she would run for the fifth time over her chapped lips.

"Ready to go, Woo?" And, at that, Wooyoung adverted his eyes from her hair to the tall boy standing, now, beside him, letting out a puff of air he wasn't even aware of having held.

Seonghwa couldn't help but smirk at the look the employee threw at him, not sparing more than a single glance back at Wooyoung before excusing herself and walking away. 

"Oh, thank god!" The boy exaggeratedly threw himself on the other's stiff body before quickly making his way out of the store, Seonghwa following fast behind. "She was driving me crazy, and I couldn't just be mean and tell her that." He pouted, looking back and urging the man to fasten his steps, which Hwa complied, smile playing on his lips. "Thank you for helping me out." Wooyoung said as they faced each other again.

"No problem." He paused for a second, wondering what to say next, getting lost in the way he could see himself reflected on Wooyoung's bright eyes. "Did she tell you how to get there or was she just hitting on you the whole time?

"S-she told me." The boy cursed at himself for stuttering, but how could he not with Seonghwa staring down at him so intensely? "Just follow me, okay?" And, before he got an answer, he began to walk, not looking back and solely hoping he was being followed. 

"You know, I'm actually jealous of you right now." Wooyoung got startled by the other's voice, eyes wide and mouth agape as he stared up at Seonghwa."You know, you're there, playing on your phone, while I'll have to wait until tomorrow to get mine back." He rolled his eyes once he finished talking, patiently watching as the boy put his phone inside one of his pants' back pocket and stood up, smiling sweetly at his subtle words.

"At least they'll be able to solve it!" He said, excitedly. "Have you paid yet? Can we go home now?"

"Well, yes, I've already paid." He started to walk, soon leaving the store. "However, no, we can't go home yet."

"Why not? I'm tired of walking, Hwa." And he pouted, for the nth time on that morning, making Seonghwa regret ever taking him out with him. _Even whining, he manages to be adorable_, he thought before sighing.

"Because it's already lunchtime, and I'm surprised you haven't complained about being hungry yet. If there's one thing I've learned about you is that you're pretty much hungry all the time." He smiled. "And I thought I could take you out to eat with me since you made me company and found out where we were supposed to go."

"O-oh." _Why do I keep stuttering?_ He asked himself, swallowing pure air before continuing. "Sure, you can take me out- I mean... there's a restaurant close, I know how to get you there."

"Just as you knew how to get me here?" Seonghwa motioned to the store beside them, smirking at how the boy rolled his eyes.

"You know what? Find your way back home on your own, I'm gonna go eat alone." Wooyoung crossed his arms in front of his chest before walking away, slowly, silently wishing he would be stopped, and he was, with an arm thrown around his shoulder, fast feet accompanying his.

"I'm sorry, Wooyoungie, just take me there, alright?"_ Wooyoungie?_

"Fine, but it'll be your treat, for being mean to me."

"Okay, two things. One, that's not me being mean, trust me, and two, do you want me to treat you? I just paid for the whole fixing my phone thing, Wooyoung."

"You're the one who invited me." Wooyoung simply stated, lifting his hand and brushing his fingers softly against Seonghwa's — the older's hand hanging from his shoulder —, but, at the goosebumps running through his body, he placed his hand down, inside one of the pockets of his denim jacket.

"You're right, I guess I can pay to get you fed, you little puppy." Seonghwa definitely brushed off Wooyoung's fingers on his, convincing himself that it was probably simply a bug flying by.

_God_, Wooyoung just wished Seonghwa hadn't said that because, now, he couldn't hear the other words that followed, his heartbeat too strong inside his chest for him to be able to pay attention to any other thing if not that.


	3. 𝕄𝕒𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤 𝕔𝕝𝕖𝕒𝕣

"So... do you kiss all your friends or should I consider myself special?" To say Seonghwa wasn't expecting that question would be an understatement — his hand flying to his lips as he tried his best to not spit the food in his mouth, body heaving as he slapped his own chest in a failed attempt to calm down his sudden racing heartbeat, looking at Wooyoung incredulously. "Oh... oh god, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," A blush found its way into the youngest's cheeks, figuring out it probably wasn't a good idea to pop that question after several minutes of comfortable silence.

"No- no... it's okay, completely okay," He exclaimed after taking a sip of his lemon iced tea. "And I guess I don't really do that...?" The boy fixed his sitting position, finally looking into the other's eyes after seconds of contemplating if that was a good idea. "Well, you see... the friends I have left are from high school, sort of... and they're back home, so I don't really get to show them this much... affection as of right now? Yeah," Seonghwa took more food into his mouth and chewed on it, convinced — even if for a mere second — that his answer was enough, that is, of course, until he didn't get a response from Wooyoung, not even a hum, which was odd considering his usual talkative personality. "I-I don't kiss all of them, I don't..." He facepalmed. "I don't kiss any of them... I just wanted you to be okay, so I did that,"

"Oh, hm... thank you, it meant a lot," Wooyoung would play with the spaghetti on his plate, blush still sitting proudly on his cheeks, eyes avoiding Seonghwa's until the next words left his mouth.

"We're friends, right? You and I, I mean, Wooyoung,"

"Of course! Hwa, you don't even need to ask?" He didn't really understand where that question was coming from. Ever since Seonghwa moved in, not only Woo but the other two boys as well had done everything — or almost everything — they could in order to make sure he'd be comfortable; after all, the boy was coming from another province, and, like it or not, Seoul is a scary place to live in — luckily to Seonghwa, though, being raised by a man born in Seoul made it easy for him to be used to the other dialect. From them all, however, Wooyoung was the one to mostly go out of his way for him, and yet the other felt the need to ask if they were friends? Woo wondered if he had been doing something wrong for the past month. "You don't... think we're friends?" He finished drinking his soda, trying his best to swallow the lump inside his throat.

"I do! I-I think I do..." _Come on, Seonghwa, speak clearly! _"I'm just not very good with this 'being friends' thing? I'm really not good at making friends and I never know if I'm someone's friend until... until I don't know? Until they openly say it to me. I guess... we did have sort of a deep conversation last night, but you talk a lot! So I didn't- didn't really know if you were telling me that bit of your past because you tell that to everybody or because you truly wanted me to know, I just- god, now I'm rambling," The thudding noise that Seonghwa's head made after colliding with the table multiple followed times probably worried a rushing waitress that walked past them — and the boy was definitely in pain — but all Wooyoung could think was how cute he looked, being the one to talk nonstop this time and growing more and more flustered. 

On that night, Wooyoung caught himself turning from side to side on his mattress again. The same dilemma kept flooding his mind, why, why, just _why _was he doing this to himself? Why was he letting a boy he had known for a bit over a month occupy so much space inside his head? The boy only hoped he could have the answers, and he tried — oh, did he try — to think, to come up with something, but he couldn't; all he could do was sigh, repeatedly, and contemplate if he should or should not wake Yeosang up. He knew for a fact that the second the oldest had his eyes open, he'd have to either protect himself with a pillow and run around their room or elaborate an extremely detailed response as to why he had woken him up. He chose the latter. 

"Yeosang... Yeos-hey there," He offered a sheepish smile as he retrieved his hand from the awakening boy's thigh, Yeosang waking up a tad scared, only to see a boy standing by the ladder, illuminated by the faint light of the lantern of a phone — almost dropping. "Can we talk?" Wooyoung finished going up, sitting by the end of his mattress.

"Now that I'm awake, we _better _talk or I'm throwing you from up here," Yeosang sat up, rubbing his eyes and yawning while resting his back against the headboard. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing..." Wooyoung crawled further over the sheets, sitting by the other's side and taking one of his hands in his.

"You never want to just talk, Wooyoung, I think I've known you for long enough to know at least this about you.... so, tell me, what's up?" He took Woo's phone from his hand, turning off the lantern and putting the device down, sighing in relief at how his eyes didn't have to get used to the brightness anymore. He knew he was right; in all of their years of friendship, Wooyoung had probably said the words 'can we talk' — or any other sentences that resembled that — around two or three times, and in every single one, something not-so-good followed after. Yeosang felt a little uneasy, a bit of worry starting to rush through his veins. "Are you okay, Wooyoungie?"

"I am, at least I think I am," He nodded at his own words. "I just needed to ask you if you... if you've ever had a difficult time in taking someone out of your mind... like, a- a really difficult time..."

"I have," Yeosang bit his own lip, thanking the time for making it probably 3 or 4 AM and not allowing Wooyoung to see how red his ears were becoming. For a second, he thought the other would remember, but at the overly excited _really? Whom?_ he realized he was wrong. "You, Wooyoung," He couldn't help but chuckle once he felt the other's grip on his hand tightening. "It's okay that you forgot, I'm actually glad you did...?"

"I just... is this a touchy subject? We don't have to-"

"It's alright, really," He gave his hand a reassuring shake. "I'm sorry to tell you but I'm over you already," Yeosang chuckled again. "So, come on, tell me more about what or who is bothering you,"

"No, I'm sorry," Wooyoung pulled his hands to himself, embarrassed and 100% sure he had, in a way, just hurt his best friend, _all over again_. "I'm really sorry, I'll just try to go back to sleep, you should do the same, Sang..." By this point, he couldn't even stare at his face, soon climbing down and finding comfort beneath his own blanket. 

Yeosang sat there, confused, for a couple of minutes before laying back down, sighing to himself and trying his best to not let his mind get clouded with the sudden thoughts that came up. At the loud sigh, Wooyoung was more than sure that yes, he had fucked up; perhaps he truly needed to get his shit together. The boy tried his best not to tear up, memories making him positive that he shouldn't have taken that matter to Yeosang, of all people. It was too soon to obsess about Seonghwa, after all — his anxiety eating him alive whenever they were to even stand in the same room together had got to have another explanation.


	4. 𝕌𝕟𝕤𝕡𝕠𝕜𝕖𝕟 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕕𝕤

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took me SO long, and I'm so sorry, but this is honestly the only chapter I've liked writing so far, and I hope it'll continue to be like this from now on~~

"Are you okay, Woo? You seem tired... sound on edge," Seonghwa trailed off, furrowing his eyebrows as he looked at the boy leaning against the sink, water glass on his hand as he glared at the oldest.

"I didn't sleep," He sighed, stepping away and plopping himself up on the counter. "I get moody when I can't sleep," Seonghwa couldn't help but chuckle, shaking his head as he returned his attention to the scrambled eggs he was working on. "What now?"

"You always sound moody to me," The boy shrugs, turning off the stove before putting the eggs on a plate, feet dragging him to the table, placing the dish on the side of the empty ones and soon going back to the kitchen, rolling his eyes once he sets them on a pouty Wooyoung, arms crossed in front of his chest.

"That's because I can never sleep well," He hopped off the counter, filling himself yet another glass of water, not fully wanting out of there but, still, not wanting to deal with any of that.

"Maybe if you took your pills," Seonghwa silently suggested, breathing softly as he started frying the bacon, missing the soft 'maybe if you kissed me more often' the youngest left out of his lips — he took a hand up to his mouth as soon as the words left, anxious heart slowly calming down once he realized the other had failed to hear him over the sound coming from the heated frying pan. "Hey, I forgot to ask," Hwa giggled at his own thoughts, and Wooyoung felt his calming heart speeding up again. "But do you always tell everything about your life to people? I mean..." He turned off the stove once more, tilting his head to the side, the tip of his tongue poking out of his lips, before turning around to face the other boy. "When we both couldn't keep ourselves asleep, you know... when I kissed you," Wooyoung could swear he could see a faint blush across his cheeks. "You told me more information than I needed to know, and I know I asked but you could have just shortened it to telling me you used to get kisses from your mom," And Seonghwa mentally cursed at himself as he saw Wooyoung's eyes tear up — even if it was for short, quick seconds —; he was well aware of how must have sounded and wished he had thought of that before speaking. He wasn't mean, _no_, he just needs to better analyze which words to use depending on whom he was talking to. _Note to self: Wooyoung is very, very sensitive_.

_ Why did I, why did I why did I? _The same question flew in between random thoughts over and over again. He couldn't answer; he didn't know. Muttering a short apology — to Seonghwa or to himself? —, Wooyoung looked down, one of his hands flying to his hair, gently pulling at the roots whilst he tried hard to come up with something, _anything_ to get him out of there.

"I'm gonna go tell them food's almost ready, okay?" And, just like that, he disappeared hallway in; the leftovers of his small voice made Seonghwa's head suddenly ache.

"Joongie?" Wooyoung gently knocked on the bathroom door, just as the shower went off, a low, muffled 'yes' was all he got and he felt enough satisfied, walking off to his and Yeosang's room. He sighed, shaky hand lifting up to knock on the slightly agape door; they hadn't exchanged any words besides _good morning _ever since what happened during the night, to say the youngest felt uncomfortable would be an understatement. He feared that, sooner or later, he would be no longer able to look any of his flatmates in the eyes.

"I'm changing but come in!" Yeosang sounded sweet, and his roommate couldn't hold his soft chuckle as he opened the door, eyes instantly falling over a struggling boy trying hard to close his pants. "These shrunk," The boy pouted, giving up and, with difficulty again, stepping out of the pants.

"You gained weight, Sangie," Wooyoung smiled, wickedly, before he sat down on his own bed, whining and laughing as soon as the day other harshly slapped his arm. The air felt light as they both waited until their laughter died down; unbeknownst to Woo, Yeosang also wordlessly thanked the change in the mood. "Breakfast is almost ready, hurry up, okay? Try to find some pants that didn't shrink this time," He emphasized the word, smiling again while standing up, ready to leave the room and weirdly sit by the table, accompanying Seonghwa, when thin fingers wrapped around his wrist, making him turn around. "Yeah?"

"Can we talk, Woo?" Yeosang had his bottom lip trapped in between his teeth, weakly pulling the other — who, pretty much, offered few to none resistance — to sit back down on the bed. "I know that if we take too long, Seonghwa will come here to drag us to the table, so let's try to keep this short, hm?" The boy could only nod, still not knowing what to say. "Why did you suddenly act like that? I know how your brain works," _I know your mind makes you think you're constantly fucking up_, is what he really wanted to say. "But still, it's me, Woo... we've gone through that topic so many times before, you know it doesn't hurt me anymore," They both frowned, Yeosang's eyes searching for Wooyoung's — which were lost, looking down at how he fumbled with his own fingers —, desperate for an ounce of proper attention. "Hey... please say something," One of his hands cupped the other's face, making him look at him.

"I'm sorry," His voice trembled, eyes tearing up just like before while he was standing in the kitchen, the boy still feeling vulnerable. Seonghwa was right. He was on edge. "My professors have been telling me to do a lot of work, so I stopped taking the Doxepin because I needed to stay awake, but now that we have these days off, I decided to just do nothing and relax but, _honestly_, I have been feeling even _more_ stressed and I got used to not taking the pills so I keep forgetting to take them like I used to, hence my lack of being able to sleep, and," He had to take a moment to breathe, lips quivering after bursting out all of that information so quickly, hands blindly reaching for Yeosang's and holding onto them for dear life. They both sighed; Wooyoung from trying to gather his thoughts, and Yeosang worried after hearing all of his rushed words. "And every little thing is triggering my emotions, Sangie... Seonghwa and I went out to fix his phone, right?" He nodded, attentive. "And the whole time we were out, he made me feel at ease, safe, and that's probably the only reason why he won't leave my _goddamn_ mind but I was still confused and very much awake so I just... decided to ask you what could be another reason, but I regretted and mostly... realized how dumb I sounded, and yes, I am still afraid that the _us_ subject is delicate to you even if you tell me otherwise. It all came crashing down but I just felt so, _so_ tired I couldn't even cry, I just wanted to be left alone," The oldest reached up to wipe dry the wet trail left by a tear that insisted on falling down his cheek.

They had known each other for years, and Yeosang knew that Wooyoung was easy to read. It wasn't hard to know when he was happy, angry, annoyed, sad, excited, he knew it all — everyone could —, but he also knew that, although the boy would always be quick to spill a lot of history, a lot of _gossip_ most of the time, he also held locked the pained words, the ones he had to let out the most but rarely did without a push. Yeosang was used to pushing his buttons. Gently, he pulled the shivering boy into a hug, whispering sweet nothing because he knew better than to be rational right then; he knew how to deal with him.

Seonghwa felt pretty alone that day. After breakfast, Yeosang situated himself on his bed, watching anime, and Wooyoung joined — it was clear for everyone that he did it out of choice, Hongjoong not available and Seonghwa still making him uncomfortable —; Hwa could hear the laughing, whining and surprised gasps that would come from the room. It made his insides twirl. Hongjoong seemed busy with school work and didn't leave their room until it was already nighttime — a well-written 'keep away, keep quiet' sign taped to the outside of the locked door —, complaining that his back ached and whining for someone to give him a massage. Seonghwa was quick to tell him to sit on the floor, in between his legs as he sat on the couch, knowing hands working on the knots on his back, frowning as he told the youngest that he clearly needed to fix his posture in front of his laptop.

"Can I ask you something, Joong?" Seonghwa's voice came out soft, careful, and the other boy laughed.

"In all the months you've been living here, I think this is the first time you ask me that," He continued to laugh, failing to hide his surprise at how the normally quiet, calm, collected, minding-his-business Seonghwa. A whine fell from Hongjoong's lips as soon as the older tightened his grip on his shoulder, a silent warning for him to quit it. "Sure, ask away,"

"I was on the phone with one of my friends, and... you see, my birthday's this Friday, and while I don't really care about celebrating it, they're insisting that we shouldn't let this go by since I'll be twenty-one, and... yeah," He hadn't even realized he was blushing as he stopped working on the other's back, pulling his hands to himself. "I was thinking of bringing them here, just four people, a small thing... I promise they won't get too drunk, won't make too much of a mess," Expectantly, Seonghwa fixed his posture, waiting for a reply as Hongjoong turned around, smiling gently as he nodded, mouth agape when he was about to talk, but then-

"YOUR BIRTHDAY IS THIS FRIDAY AND YOU DIDN'T TELL US?" Wooyoung's loud voice cut through the comfortable silence as both him and Yeosang walking into the living room, Wooyoung jumping to the couch and sitting by Seonghwa's side, an incredulous expression painting his features. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"I don't really think it's that much of a big deal... it's just a date, Woo..."

"I agree, I think like that about birthdays too, but," He clapped his hands. "This is _your_ birthday, we're having a party!"

"We're not having a party, Woo," The oldest pleaded, eyes begging as he held onto the other's forearms, in an attempt to calm him down. "Just a small get-together, okay?"

"Can we at least order a cake?" It was Yeosang's turn to ask, sitting by Hongjoong's side on the floor — Seonghwa didn't miss the way the two held hands behind their backs. "We can buy drinks, have a cake, and make things special for your birthday," He continued, words sang.

"I-I guess you can," The bot replied quietly, lightly jumping once all three of them yelled happily, already planned where to buy whatever they suddenly decided to.

"Woo, what are you doing here? I told you all to go to bed while I cleaned up," Seonghwa asked after coming back from the kitchen, eyeing a tired boy laying on the couch.

After he managed to quiet down the three boys, they had decided to watch a movie and enjoy each other's company for what seemed like the first time in weeks — it was oddly rare for them to spend time together, all four of them sitting and chatting out of the dining table. After the whole excitement over the special date died down, Wooyoung couldn't lie to himself and say that he still felt weird around the other; perhaps it was the way he had an arm around his shoulder during the whole movie, or maybe how he had a clear mind right then and could remember how Seonghwa's smile had fallen down as he realized he had said something he shouldn't. It was obvious that he didn't intend to make him feel bad; Wooyoung could see it.

"I forgot to take my pill at lunch again and if I take it now I won't wake up in time for class tomorrow, and I know I won't be able to sleep anyway, so I just figured I could just stay here and watch more tv," His words dripped tiredness and the other couldn't hold back a frown, worry rushing through his body as he tried to come up with something to say. The _right_ thing this time.

"Would a kiss help?" He leaned against the back of the couch, staring at the laying boy who looked right back at him, licking his lips before he nodded. Seonghwa didn't have to be told twice.

_ This has to stop_, Wooyoung said to himself, not fully aware if he meant _the kisses have to stop_ or _my heart wanting to leave my chest has to stop_; all he knew was that, this time, his hand reached up and hold Seonghwa's lips against his own for a bit longer than last time, reciprocating for a spare second before retrieving his hand to the cushion beneath his tense body, the older pulling away slowly, smiling sweetly — this has got to be a habit, Woo thought —, and whispering the same simple, but sounding oh-so-sweet words as he had before.

"Goodnight, Wooyoung,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello~~ If you wanna talk, I also have a Twitter account (@hwasshinestar)


	5. 𝕀𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕔𝕚𝕤𝕚𝕠𝕟

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After ages, I'm finally back with a new chapter~~ I've been much more inspired to write this so, hopefully, I'll be able to update it weekly. If there are any mistakes, I'll correct them tomorrow. I hope you enjoy~~ :3

"What are you gonna get him?" Wooyoung's voice reaches Yeosang's ears for the first time in the last half-hour, the boy bent over to look closely at the display window, hands on the glass and eyes scanning the great variety of books in front of him.  _ Maybe a book would be a good idea _ , he thought, tilting his head and suddenly focusing on his own reflection and shaking his head quickly to brush off the idea; just a day ago Seongwa was complaining about not having time to read anything besides his classes' notes — he sounded so exhausted saying that, Wooyoung just wanted to pull him in for a hug but he didn't feel comfortable to do so just yet.

"Well, nothing? He told us not to get him anything, Woo," The oldest crossed his arms, leaning against the same window Wooyoung was touching before he straightened his posture. "He explicitly told us 'I do not want any of you to give me anything', so I honestly have no idea why you're still trying to find something," He sighed. "We've been to four stores already, I'm getting tired!" The boy exaggeratedly sighed, pout evident by his tone of voice, standing closer to his friend. "Do you even know what you wanna get him? I suppose not... considering none of the stores you looked through sell the same thing," He rolled his eyes, chuckling softly once the other pouted whilst looking up at him.

"I don't... get what we're doing here then?" He tilted his head. "To begin with, nobody that says that actually means it, at least I never do whenever I say it," His pout got bigger, arms crossed copying Yeosang's. "And why did you come then? If you only came to bother me, you can as well go back home, I can find his gift on my own, thank you very much," Yeosang couldn't help but giggle, shaking his head and hooking his arm with the other.

"I don't know why you're being so grumpy over something so small, Woo, but I'm not leaving you, we still need to get his cake," He hummed to himself, starting to walk again and absentmindedly pulling the other boy along. "What cake should we get? Should we get other candies too? Soju? Beer?" He kept on rambling, not noticing the glare that was being thrown at him until a few seconds of silence went by — Wooyoung was being awfully quiet that day. "What is it? Have I said something wrong?"

"I cannot, I literally cannot with you," Wooyoung frowned, still glaring at him and letting himself be guided — dragged — through the sidewalk. "Have I been taking gastromy classes for nothing?" Oh, that's what he means, Yeosang thought, sighing in regret. He completely forgot. "I thought you'd let me bake his cake... thought you had come with me to buy him something too and not to go look for someone else's work," The young boy sighed as well, averting his eyes and focusing on the floor beneath them.

"I'm so, so sorry, Woo, I completely forgot... I really did, I won't buy it elsewhere, alright? We can go to the grocery store, get whichever ingredients you need and you'll bake the best birthday cake ever, I'm sure of it," Yeosang turned his head, giving a kiss on the other's hair. "How does that sound, hm? I'm sorry, Woo, I really am," He completed, voice low and soft, enjoying the gentle nod and the blush that he got. "What cake do you wanna make? I think you're the one who knows him the best among us, so I'll trust whatever choice you make,”

“I was thinking of a chocolate one with strawberry jam because he really likes chocolate cakes and he always comes home from class with some sort of strawberry juice with him so…” He stopped walking for just a couple of seconds as a sudden idea came to mind. “What if I do a bunch of cupcakes?” The boy suggested softly, intertwining his fingers with Yeosang’s. “We’ll be eight people in total, most of us are gonna drink… so maybe cupcakes are a better choice, you know? They’re easier and quicker to make and we can do this throughout the whole night, not just at a specific time, and oh my god!” He gasped, looking into the other’s eyes. “I can make a slightly larger cupcake for his candles so he can blow it and smile, I love his smile so there is no way we’re not getting him cute candles to get him all happy,” Wooyoung wished he had kept some of those words to himself, especially after he felt a blush creeping up to his face slowly and his friend’s stare burning him down and making him wish he could open a whole on the ground and bury his face in it. He knew fairly well what to expect now.

“So… you love his smile, huh?”  _ Shit _ . “You’ve been dropping just so many hints, Woo, it’s hard to continue keeping my mouth shut when you’re literally begging me to ask you,” Yeosang ignored the whiney ‘no, I’m not doing that!’ coming from the boy beside him, only giggling and continuing to drag him forward. “He’s been keeping you awake more often lately, hasn’t he?”

“All nights this week, Sangie…” He finally confessed after a couple of seconds in silence, deciding to keep to himself the rather particular way Seonghwa had put him to sleep every single one of the past nights, the small kisses growing longer each day and making his head spin on every possible way. “I feel like I’m losing my goddamn mind at this point, and this birthday party has to be perfect! He has to compliment me, tell me I did a good job, and smile at me. I want to see him dressed up and happy around his friends, and I want to ask them embarrassing stories about him simply to get him all shy and leaning into my shoulder whilst begging us to stop making fun of him… I really do not enjoy birthday parties at all, and I absolutely hate meeting new people, but tomorrow has to go well, Sangie, it just has to,” 

He was definitely going all out this time, certainly out of his comfort zone just to make Seonghwa happy. At first, when the oldest told them about the small gettogether, he was clearly unhappy with his flatmates’ excitement, voicing a couple of times how he thought it all to be an unneeded exaggeration — and getting ignored each and every time, of course —; however, as the week started, he seemed to grow interested in the random ideas Wooyoung would throw around, smiling more often at Yeosang’s outfit ideas, and even going on long discussions over Hongjoong’s drinks menu —  _ Hongjoong, we’re not going to do body shots in this flat, when I said my friends were not going to drink too much, I didn’t expect you to encourage the opposite! _

All Wooyoung wanted was for things to work out. He had planned how he would clean the whole place on Friday morning — insisting with himself that he _ had _ to skip class in order to do so —, had asked his best friend for outfit advice at least seven different times in the last three days and denied every single one, and now the cake; he had to admit that the way Yeosang had completely ignored — or rather forgotten — his abilities with cooking hurt him deeply, but the sudden caring gestures and soft words eased his heart a bit. He was willing to bake for two hundred people if that’s what Seonghwa wanted, so, baking for eight would be easy — at least that’s what he hoped for.

“God, I haven’t seen you this whipped for someone in years, and I must say I absolutely saw this coming,” Yeosang straightened his posture proudly of his own premonition, cursing at the other the second he stomped on his foot mouthing a shocked ‘what?’. “I mean, you do have a type, you know… boys that are taller than you, that cook for you, that have enough duality to make you want to be manhandled and yet make you put them in your pocket and carry them around, protecting them from the world… and Seonghwa’s absolutely all of that,”  _ You forgot caring, funny, stubborn, understanding, handsome, cute, hot as fuck, and Yeosang I swear he’s packing down there _ , Wooyoung thought to himself, wisely choosing to stay quiet to keep himself away from more embarrassment. “I’m happy that you have something to keep your mind busy, Woo,” The oldest continued, squeezing his hand ever so gently. “And you haven’t gone to me to talk about feeling overwhelmed about him again so I just… assume you’re less anxious about him for now, am I right?” Wooyoung nodded although not fully sure of his own answer.

Was he? He really… really wasn’t sure. Was he feeling less anxious about being too much? Yes, yes he was, after him and Seonghwa slowly went back to being their normal selves around each other. However, the boy was still feeling like a bother, the goodnight kisses turning him quickly into an addict, his bottle of pills thrown under his bed.  _ I don’t need this anymore _ .

“Are you really not giving him anything?” Wooyoung asked, shaking his head to get rid of his thoughts and hoping Yeosang would just silently accept the change of subject. “Because I think I already know what I want to give him, and I actually have a feeling he’s going to like it,” A smile found its way into his lips, thoughts going back to when they were standing in front of the bookstore and he realized all he needed was to go back to the first store they had stepped in. 

“Yeah, no, I’m not giving him anything, I already promised him I’d help him with his makeup,” Makeup? He’s wearing makeup? “And don’t even ask, I’m not telling you anything about it,” He got yet another whine coming from the short boy. “I know it’ll be his party, but he asked for it to be a secret, and, now that I know you have a crush on him, I’m definitely not letting you know, I wanna see your face when he shows up,”

Wooyoung had a feeling this wouldn’t go as well as Yeosang was hoping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on Twitter on @/hwasshinestar and @/woovertue

**Author's Note:**

> ■ Thank you for reading~~
> 
> ■ Talk to me on Twitter if you'd like :3 I post some social media AUs in there every now and then [@hwasanflower]


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